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Today, the PHSLUA (Picnic Hot Stove League Umpire Association) agreed to a new collective bargaining agreement for the 2009-2010 seasons. Chief negotiator, President, Recording Secretary, and Shop Steward, Nick, said "This is an historic agreement and one during which I hope to actually learn your American game's rules" Nick drove a hard bargain threatening a walk out if he didn't receive "...one of those clicky thingys to keep track of strikes and balls." The agreement has to be passed by a simple majority of the union's membership which includes.......uh......hmmm.....lemme see...Oh YEAH.... NICK and that's it. I guess that would mean it needs 100% approval huh?
The full agreement includes the following provisions:
In a bit of an unorthodox move, Jeremy has submitted a term sheet outlining his demands for his upcoming contract negotiation. We know Jeremy's background is Venture Capital but is he serious? His demands are as follows:
We're sorry to report tonight that at 12:30am Tuesday, contract negotiations have broken down with Greg's agent. It seemed as though the talks were progressing very nicely. The term and the base salary amounts had been agreed upon and it really was a matter of dotting the i's and crossing the t's until Greg appeared on Fox News. In the segment Greg was asked his opinion on the proposed $250B bailout of the U.S. banks by the Treasury Department to which he responded quite eloquently that he was in favor of it to a point. No doubt the point at which his bank account ceases to be FDIC insured!
Once the clip was viewed by his agent, all talks were stopped so that he could confer via cell phone with his client. No further details were supplied, however, Greg's agent did relay ONE request from Greg, which was to change his nickname from "Meatball" to "Hollywood".
No doubt, Meat......er.......Hollywood is going to ask for more money. We hope that this TV appearance doesn't go to his head too much. We would hate to see him price himself out of the market.
Term: 15 Years
Base: $9.0M
Options: None. At the end of this contract both parties have agreed they will probably have had enough of each other to last a lifetime!
Incentives:
By now most of you have seen the pictures that Yan emailed around, however, I have discovered that someone was actually taking video of the game! Unfortunately the only clip I was able to salvage was the clip of Nancy's AMAZING outfield catch. The ONLY fly ball to be caught in the outfield all game by the way. I'm sure Nancy's agent will want to use this for her contract negotiations and it will ultimately cost me money, but this catch was too amazing not to share with you. Maybe I can negotiate the rights to the video away from her and recoup some of my contract losses? We'll see. In the meantime, enjoy the video!
Term: 1 Year
Base: $300k
Options: 2010 team option at $350k
Incentives:
All players who actually played in the game on 10/07/08 are considered restricted free agents. That means that their clubs have until 12:01am on 10/17/08 to sign them to a contract and no other team can negotiate with them. After that date, the player can negotiate with any team, however, the team that signs that player must give up one draft choice to the team the player came from.
The following players are unrestricted free agents and can negotiate with any team for the upcoming season. It should be noted that each of these players indicated that they would play for the team that selected them in the free agent draft, however, at the last minute, came up with some lame excuse......I mean....reason why they could not play.
The excuses....er......reasons that were used are as follows:
Submit your matches in the comments below by indicating first the player number and then the excuse letter. Some excuses apply to multiple players. Don't be afraid to reuse an excuse, afterall, some of these players have used the same excuse year after year!!! I'll supply the correct answers in the comments next week.
It's official! The Hot Stove League is in full swing! Jen has registered the first complaint regarding the lack of press that both she and Mark received in the game summary given that they were the ONLY two players to go 3 for 3. My response is that there is a BIG difference between an A-Rod like 3 for 3....3 solo home runs in a 12-3 loss after the team was already down 12 runs.....and say a Bobby Abreu 3 for 3....2 Singles to drive in tying or go ahead runs with the walk off game winning grand slam in the bottom of the 11th. But, softball, just like baseball, is ruled by statistics. In fact you would think that Abner Doubleday was a direct descendant to the famous statistician R. A. Fisher even though Fisher was born three years prior to Doubleday's death! (I only deal in broad concepts here, not minor details!)
I'm certain that Jen and Mark's agent (Michelle "don't call me Michael" Boras) will use these stats to extract an exhorbitant sum of money in signing bonuses and incentive clauses from their new club over the winter!
