Softball Mergers, Acquistions, and Bail Outs

Wall Street's problems have come to visit the picnic and softball game today. In an emergency session of the QLC committee late last night, the decision was made to pass the $7.24 bailout bill of the Ugly Team. Yes you read that correctly SEVEN POINT TWO FOUR DOLLARS, the cost of which will be absorbed by the captains of the Ugly team not receiving their golden parachutes, a soda and hot dog each at the BBQ. The bailout effectively disbands the Ugly team and distributes its remaining members to the Good and Bad teams evenly. It became abundantly clear to the committee that a bailout was needed when continued questions were overheard at the water cooler wondering "Has Lloyd lost his mind? How on earth can you play ONE softball game with THREE teams?"

In addition to passing this bill, the committee attached a few "earmarks" as follows"

• The Yacht Club will receive $340 dollars to partially offset the loss of revenue due to the change in venue of this event. The cost will be made up in future events by not purchasing any paper goods. Hamburgers will be taken directly from the grill and placed immediately on buns held by hungry attendees. Sleeves will be substituted for napkins.
• The Department of Parks and Recreation will receive relief money in the amount of $500 for cleanup costs.
• The Little League will be given $25,000 in lieu of the embarrassing and potentially fatal in some cases challenge game for use of the field post 6:00pm.
• Lloyd, captain of the Good team, will receive 4 tickets to a future Giants game, but that has NOTHING to do with his threat to boycott the game if the Good team could not bat against the Ugly teams 5 remaining players in his 3 team rotation schedule so that they could run up the score!

All questions and comments can be directed to Ed, the bills sponsor. Ed's track record is an amazing 1,473-1 in getting bills he has sponsored passed by the committee. This has been under review by the committee for over 4 years, however, no progress has ever been reported. I would call for a review of the committee and sanctions against him, but, I am no George! If only I had the goods on Ed the way George MUST have them on Howard! I mean, how else would Howard put up with George's antics and jokes and still let him keep his job? Wait a minute!!! uh, Ed, I'd just like to say that I had nothing to do with this post and that I did see Steve snooping around my desk the other day, so maybe he was behind all this??

Gotta go!