Transactions for the Week Ended 10/10/08

All players who actually played in the game on 10/07/08 are considered restricted free agents. That means that their clubs have until 12:01am on 10/17/08 to sign them to a contract and no other team can negotiate with them. After that date, the player can negotiate with any team, however, the team that signs that player must give up one draft choice to the team the player came from.

The following players are unrestricted free agents and can negotiate with any team for the upcoming season. It should be noted that each of these players indicated that they would play for the team that selected them in the free agent draft, however, at the last minute, came up with some lame excuse......I mean....reason why they could not play.

1. Trevor
2. Alex
3. Chandra
4. Sara
5. Jo Anne
6. Yosef
7. Bob G
8. Christine
9. Steve W
10. Steven
11. Michelle

The excuses....er......reasons that were used are as follows:

• A) Out of town
• B) Sore throat
• C) Date with a super-model
• D) Pregnant
• E) Hair & Nail appointment
• F) Broken wrist
• G) Meeting with client
• H) No Excuse, did not show.

Submit your matches in the comments below by indicating first the player number and then the excuse letter. Some excuses apply to multiple players. Don't be afraid to reuse an excuse, afterall, some of these players have used the same excuse year after year!!! I'll supply the correct answers in the comments next week.

Hot Stove League is Heating Up!!!

It's official! The Hot Stove League is in full swing! Jen has registered the first complaint regarding the lack of press that both she and Mark received in the game summary given that they were the ONLY two players to go 3 for 3. My response is that there is a BIG difference between an A-Rod like 3 for 3....3 solo home runs in a 12-3 loss after the team was already down 12 runs.....and say a Bobby Abreu 3 for 3....2 Singles to drive in tying or go ahead runs with the walk off game winning grand slam in the bottom of the 11th. But, softball, just like baseball, is ruled by statistics. In fact you would think that Abner Doubleday was a direct descendant to the famous statistician R. A. Fisher even though Fisher was born three years prior to Doubleday's death! (I only deal in broad concepts here, not minor details!)
I'm certain that Jen and Mark's agent (Michelle "don't call me Michael" Boras) will use these stats to extract an exhorbitant sum of money in signing bonuses and incentive clauses from their new club over the winter!

Softball Game Summary

(Click on picture to enlarge)

Top of the 1st
Rob miraculously appears from the Will Not Play list after negotiations to trade him to the Good Guys team had broken down. There were rumors that there was an underhanded deal afoot between Sarah and Lloyd, however, they were never proven. More on this later. Ed leads off for The Bad Guys and after a swing and a miss Rob is heard to question quite loudly if there was a tee available. Ed recovers and singles, Sarah reaches on an error, and Steve blasts a 2 run Double. Addie is NOT a happy camper and calls a conference with her 3rd baseman and short stop. 5 seconds later, Steve wanders off of 3rd and is tagged out with the old hidden ball trick! WOW, makes an auditor want to really review his work doesn't it? Bad Guys lead 2-0.

Bottom of the 1st
The Good Guys answered in the bottom of the frame with 4 runs of their own. Addie reached on an error and Jeremy promptly tripled to drive her in. Another error put George on and allowed Jeremy to score. Greg would be victimized by his fielders time and again. Then Sandra drove in George with a fielders choice and Chris drove in Anthony with a single to drive in the 4th run. Good Guys lead 4-2.

Bottom of the 3rd
Nelson reached on an error and Danny singled which put Nelson in motion and he just would NOT stop running. Putting the pressure on an already shaky defense Nelson got in a run down between 2nd and 3rd and scored on an overthrow. Another error scored Danny. Good Guys lead 6-2.

Top of the 4th
Rich lead off the inning with a single and then in what can only be described as typical sandlot ball, Scott was inserted into the line up, not to hit FOR Nancy, but to hit in FRONT of her while dropping everyone else down one slot. All I can say in the immortal words of Phil "The Scooter" Rizzuto is, "HOLY COW!". Scott, doubles and then the mighty Jen stepped up and singled in Rich. Mark drove in Scott while the manager of the Good Guys (yours truly) had a caniption! Does anyone know what a caniption is, OR if I'm even spelling it correctly? Good Guys lead 6-4.

Bottom of the 4th
This is the BVP turning point of the game. With two outs and runners on 2nd and 3rd, Renee was lead to the plate. After a brief lesson in foot positioning and hand placement on the bat (knob end is the bottom Renee), and some last minute instructions to keep her eyes firmly closed, Renee BLASTED a shot down the 3rd base line about 8 feet. While the 3rd basemen was trying to recover from his nap, a run scored and Renee was safe at first with an RBI to her credit. Good Guys lead 7-4

Top of the 5th
Sandy reaches on a fielders choice and moves to 2nd when Ed grounds out to the pitcher. Sarah singles driving in Sandy and then Steve steps up the the plate looking for redemption from his earlier brain cramp. He singles to drive in Sandy with his 3rd RBI of the day, a game high. Steve then scores on an error. Game tied at 7.

Bottom of the 5th
Nelson leads off with a single and the go ahead run is on with no one out. Susanah, a late inning insertion to the lineup AT THE BOTTOM of the order according to ASA Rule #245 paragraph 3 subsection iii, (Because that's how The Good Guys ROLL!) strikes out. Danny singles, Addie Singles, and then Jeremy steps in and quietly drives in Nelson for the go ahead run. George singles driving in Danny and Addie and then the Good Guys got caught thinking how great the beer was going to taste after their victory. Somehow, Jeremy is thrown out at third and George is caught trying to advance to 2nd. The Bad Guys were very happy running off the field after turning the games only double play. That is all except Greg, who was overheard mumbling to himself while walking off the field "I out-pitched that $%^&* Addie and my team disintigrated on me!" Familiar words from the cagey veteren to be sure. Good Guys lead 10-7

Top of the 6th
The Bad Guys fail to score in their half of the 6th inning leaving the Good Guys to celebrate their victory, but wait! I'll bet you thought I forgot about the Rob "Do we have a tee" comment didn't you? Well, I did not. I just wanted to put it far enough down in the summary to where I know he won't have the time or patience to read it!!! I may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but, like Derek Jeter, I still have an edge! Anyway, Rob struck out in the 6th inning. Just as he did in the 4th inning, and yes, just as he did in the 2nd inning! The trifecta! And now that the bases have been put away and the caterer has cleaned up, I will say that NOT pulling the trigger on the Rob deal is probably the single greatest thing I could have done for my team today! Sometimes the moves you DO NOT make are the best moves. Speaking of moving, does anyone know of any venture firms looking for a smart-assed Database Manager with excellent knowledge of Investran and all Microsoft products?

Softball Mergers, Acquistions, and Bail Outs

Wall Street's problems have come to visit the picnic and softball game today. In an emergency session of the QLC committee late last night, the decision was made to pass the $7.24 bailout bill of the Ugly Team. Yes you read that correctly SEVEN POINT TWO FOUR DOLLARS, the cost of which will be absorbed by the captains of the Ugly team not receiving their golden parachutes, a soda and hot dog each at the BBQ. The bailout effectively disbands the Ugly team and distributes its remaining members to the Good and Bad teams evenly. It became abundantly clear to the committee that a bailout was needed when continued questions were overheard at the water cooler wondering "Has Lloyd lost his mind? How on earth can you play ONE softball game with THREE teams?"

In addition to passing this bill, the committee attached a few "earmarks" as follows"

• The Yacht Club will receive $340 dollars to partially offset the loss of revenue due to the change in venue of this event. The cost will be made up in future events by not purchasing any paper goods. Hamburgers will be taken directly from the grill and placed immediately on buns held by hungry attendees. Sleeves will be substituted for napkins.
• The Department of Parks and Recreation will receive relief money in the amount of $500 for cleanup costs.
• The Little League will be given $25,000 in lieu of the embarrassing and potentially fatal in some cases challenge game for use of the field post 6:00pm.
• Lloyd, captain of the Good team, will receive 4 tickets to a future Giants game, but that has NOTHING to do with his threat to boycott the game if the Good team could not bat against the Ugly teams 5 remaining players in his 3 team rotation schedule so that they could run up the score!

All questions and comments can be directed to Ed, the bills sponsor. Ed's track record is an amazing 1,473-1 in getting bills he has sponsored passed by the committee. This has been under review by the committee for over 4 years, however, no progress has ever been reported. I would call for a review of the committee and sanctions against him, but, I am no George! If only I had the goods on Ed the way George MUST have them on Howard! I mean, how else would Howard put up with George's antics and jokes and still let him keep his job? Wait a minute!!! uh, Ed, I'd just like to say that I had nothing to do with this post and that I did see Steve snooping around my desk the other day, so maybe he was behind all this??

Gotta go!